Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
