there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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