he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
