"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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