he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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