Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
