Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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