Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
