It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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