How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I CAN MOONWALK!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
