there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's shark week go big or go home
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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