gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Drake has all the answers
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
