Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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