its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
