did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I love you.
Bad choice
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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