Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
