he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
