This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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