You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
