This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
