We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
A bitchslap is in order.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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