erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
