at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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