sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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