He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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