It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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