Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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