i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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