At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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