You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
