dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
