I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
