just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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