During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
