So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
