If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
