can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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