Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
