your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Can vaginas get frostbite?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
