im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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