we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she pinky promised me she was 18
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
