epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
