They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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