hotel room ftw
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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