i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
