That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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