Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I still have a little drunk in my system
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
