I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
