I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
