Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
