I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
