wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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