I CAN MOONWALK!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
