she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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