how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
