Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
