We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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